From ibikeu Wiki

Spandex (or Lycra, depending if you're allowed by 3M to use their trademark), is the most versatile form of clothing on the planet. It can singlehandedly turn someone from a normal human to a Superhero, Pro Racer, Sex God, Rock Star, or Richard Simmons. In the end it's really your choice and your choice alone...

History

The actual development of Spandex is shrouded in mystery. Believed to be first developed as an object of power by the Freemasons. It's magical powers were eventually too strong and it escaped to begin it's conquest of modern society.

Dispelling the Myth

Some believe that "spandex" is actually an alien entity that uses humans as a symbiotic host, the side effect being powers of unfathomable quality, such as:

• Air guitar skills
• Telekinesis
• Reduced radar signature
• Increased sex drive
• Decreased sexual appeal
• Mind bullets

Notable Spandex Advocates

• Franz
• Fabian Cancellara
• Richard Simmons
• Van Halen (during their formative years)
• The entirety of Mediterranean Europe (during summer)